Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Stick, A Carrot, A String

(c) mewithoutYou
the horse's hay beneath his head
our Lord was born to a manger bed
that all whose wells run dry
could drink of his supply

to keep him warm, the sheep drew near
so grateful for His coming here
come with news of grace
come to take my place
the donkey whispered in his ear
"child, in 30-some-odd years
you'll ride someone who looks like me
untriumphantly"

the cardinals warbled a joyful song
he'll make right what man made wrong
bringing low the hills
that the valleys might be filled

then "child", asked the birds
"well, aren't they lovely words we sing?"
the tiny baby layed there
without saying anything

at a distance stood a mangy goat
with the crooked teeth and a matted coat
weary eyes and worn
chipped and twisted horns

thinking "maybe I'll make friends someday
with the cows and the hens in the rambouillet
but for now, I'll keep away
I've got nothing smart to say"

there's a sign on the barn
in the cabbage town
"when the rain picks up
and the sun goes down
sinners, come inside
with no money, come and buy

no clever talk, nor a gift to bring
requires our lowly, lovely king
come now empty handed, you don't need anything"


and the night was cool
and clear as glass
with the sneaking snake in the garden grass
deep cried out to deep
the disciples fast asleep

and the snake perked up
when he heard You ask
"if you're willing that
this cup might pass
we could find our way back home
maybe start a family all our own"

"but does not the Father guide the Son?
not my will, but yours be done.
what else here to do?
what else me, but You?"

and the snake who'd held the world
a stick, a carrot and a string
was crushed beneath the foot
of your not wanting anything

Monday, December 14, 2009

Magazine (by Pedro the Lion)

This line is metaphysical
And on the one side, on the one side
The bad half live in wickedness
And on the other side, on the other side
The good half live in arrogance
And there's a steep slope
With a short rope
This line is metaphysical
And there's a steady flow
Moving to and fro

Oh, look you earned your wings
Are you an angel, now
Or a vulture
Constantly hovering over
Waiting for a big mistake

Oh, my God, what have I done?
Oh, my God, what have I done?

Wouldn't you love to be
On the cover of a magazine?
Healthy skin, perfect teeth
Designed to hide what lies beneath

I feel the darkness growing stronger
As you cram light down my throat
How does that work out for you
In your holy quest to be above reproach?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Don't take me lightly

Hidden between the folds of light
the heart after your own heart
a heart of darkness
blanketed in light like satin

This paper heart creased
under it's own weight
like origami drenched
with guilt like gasoline

Because I've walked through
the valley of the shadow
of death only to find
that the shadow was me

Oh my soul's a piece of coal
I only want to burn brightly
even if just to escape the dark
could I get a light?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Better late than never

"I can't believe this"

These were my exasperated thoughts. I am stuck behind the slowest car on the road. They finally turn off the street, and I hit a red light. A big truck now comes out in front of me and it's a one lane road. On top of that, I already left 10 minutes later than I should have to get to church on time. No matter what I did, I could not win the race to get to church. I hit every single red light possible. "God must be teasing me" I thought, "Because I'm so angry at everyone for no reason."

I already know this about myself: I'm an impatient driver. People are more often IN MY WAY, than other drivers trying to get to where they are going. "I'm actually late this time," I thought "so I have a right to drive fast." But nonetheless, there I was, STUCK on my way to worship. This was no kind of attitude that the Lord would have me have.

Do you think God would put all those cars and red lights for me to teach me something? I think He would, because God is funny. Don't think so? The third car I was stuck behind (in the never ending chain of slow cars) had a license plate frame that said "Take it easy!" It made me chuckle and lightened my mood a bit. "That God is a funny one" I thought. The second thing I noticed on that car was the auto dealership sticker it was from: "Pride automotives". "Great," I thought. "My pride is brought up... the part of myself I wish I did not have but yet is so strong in me. Is my driving prideful?" More selfish if anything, but still my own goals superseded the ones of those around me causing me to view them as not human beings to love, but as obstacles to curse.

So I took it easy and enjoyed the rest of my drive, not caring if I got there on time. Still hit all the red lights, but it didn't really matter to me anymore. Turns out the entire band was late to get started with practice, so I was on time anyway. God saved my attitude.

So the moral is: If you don't think God can talk to you through a license plate holder, you should take Him out of that box you have Him in. God is trying to tell you all sorts of things if you pay attention!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Autumn Vignette

Two leaves entwined dance along a cobblestone path
caring not what stones their feet touch
or on what road they travel for
they are lost in the moment
in the fluid moment
that bridges that gaps of reality
that binds them here in bliss
even if for so brief a moment as this

The wind follows up at their heels
in silent syncopation keeping the beat
as more leaves join the parade
rousing others to join in chorus
in the rhythmic chorus
that coaxes them from their trees
that bids them gaily where to fall
every leaf just happy it's there at all

The clouds have funneled and heavens shake
the last storm to be seen for days
The leaves excited animate with life
as they know not what's the reason
the reason of the season
that steps into their hearts
that sends them along the street
not to shelter but to a melody

The tempo slows down to a crawl
the leaves they now begin to waltz
to the conductor's will they follow the lead
for its in their motion that they find rest
in the ceaseless rest
that calms their spirits' journey
that reminds them they were once alive
One and two and three, four, five...

Where's the maestro that directs the flow?
To where do all fallen leaves go?
It's a question not for leaves to know
to keep the spice of uncertainty
the story of uncertainty
that rejoices over requited love
that depicts the deepest sorrow
leaving the audience asking "Why?"

But is not a cloud a member of the sky?
though they themselves will fade, the sky remains
so move when moved, be still when stilled
press on through the unseen way
The divergent way
that only works to its good
that only works to its end
All leaves must move, none can stay

For every leaf has no hands
in which to hold onto this world
for they don't need them to dance
just their feet, just the music
the immaculate music
that guides their steps
that grounds them firmly
Freed from hands they soar by another's!

So when they let go of all they know
and all they have come to expect
they may just see through the tunnel
to the light that has not reached them yet
The glorious light
that sparkles off their eyes of Winter
that shines through the darkest tomb
that leaps off the tops of trees in rejoicing Spring

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Words I Don't Like

Being a lover of language and word usage (as a word artist and technician), I love using words in new ways. However there are some words I dislike as well, and will try to stop using them. Here's a list:

Sinner
Evangelical (and words like it)
Secular
Theological words (Reformed, Calvinist, etc.)
Denominational words (Pentecostal, Anglican, Methodist, Baptist, etc.)
Evangelism
Christian
Homosexual
Heterosexual
Republican (including conservative, traditional, libertarian, etc.)
Democrat (Including liberal, progressive, etc.)
Race Words (Asian, Black, White, etc.)
Religious
Saved

The list goes on, but can you see a theme in these words? They are all labels.

The way we use words reflects the way we think about them, not the other way around. Take a race word for example "Asian". When you use this word you imply that there is a group of people completely separate from others unlike them. But to what kind of person do you actually refer? Someone with a certain culture, ethics, traits, upbringing, and mannerisms associated with a skin color. By this definition my race would be "White", but no one on first meeting me would ever say I was white. I would be Asian and have immediately associated to me the culture, values, and traits of being Asian regardless if I had them or not. I must live in the reality that people will always perceive me as that no matter what I may personally feel.

Let's take another word "Sinner". This word implies that this is a distinct person or group of people. Lets take another word "Christian". This also represents a group separate from other people. Is it surprising then that one could easily come to believe these two groups do not overlap? Let's take a third word "Homosexual". Does this word have a closer association to the word "Sinner" or the word "Christian". Why?

These words allow us to gather information about a person in a top down fashion. If you were asked to remember that Ralph is friendly, talkative, and effeminate among a list of 15 other people and personalities, you wouldn't do so well at remembering. However, if you were also told he is a hairdresser, you have no problem with those things. We all already have a mental image of what each of those three things are "Sinner, "Christian", and "Homosexual", and based on those mental schemata we can associate what is closely related to each other. The danger is this: we forget we are talking about people. An aggregate concept is dehumanizing and is easy to treat as such. The easier it is to put someone in a box, the easier it is to dismiss them entirely.

God's very first task for us was to NAME everything. We are good at giving names to things, at identifying, classifying, and organizing. We now use it to name each other. We know what people are: they are poor, homeless, gay, straight, religious, anarchist, republican, democrat, crazy, old, etc. Rarely do we know who people are. This only comes by a bottom up approach, you learn someone's passions and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and you get 1 schema for who that person is. Sometimes though, we fall into the trap of going top down after going bottom up (Ralph is talkative and effeminate so he is a hairdresser, which means that he is also gay and friendly.) It's logically inconclusive to assume these things, yet we all do.

All these words I've listed before mean so much to so many people that they mean nothing at all. I refuse to use words that I do not understand:

Personal Anecdote: As I was leading a Bible study, Jill and I decided it was time to change they way we did it. As we brainstormed, I tried to articulate what my vision for it was, using terms like GIG (Group investigating God) and others that seemed to me to mean what I said. Jill just asked me, "Okay so, what does that look like? What is that?" I flustered with my words, and said "Well, you know... a GIG..." Not a very good definition. She then asked that we don't use words that we don't know so we have a clearer picture of what we are doing and communicating.

This is not to be confused with words whose very meanings themselves are so abstract that they require a word, although the word does them no justice (God, love, truth, etc.) These concepts transcend words, but can only be expressed by them (paradox).

Words and communication are of the utmost importance to the person whose utmost concern is spreading the Gospel. When we use words to dehumanize someone, that is what I see as "cursing" (wishing ill upon another). Who likes to be marginalized?

Do you ever wonder why God is referred to as the Word? Because the Word has power! It can destroy, it can heal, it can grow, it can purify, it can satisfy. Our Words do this as well, what we say to each other is of the utmost importance. Do not waste your time on idle banter.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Who sinned?

Why does this bother me so much?

Today while on the way to Best Buy with a fellow Christian, we passed a man with a sign at an intersection. There was a red light so we stopped a little ahead of him. His sign said:

"Everyone needs a little help sometimes."

"Everyone needs a little help sometimes..." my friend repeated, "And I have no money."

"Well I have a tray full of change? Maybe...?"

"No, that's pittance. He doesn't need our pity." my friend cut me off.

"Well, maybe we could bring him with us to lunch?" I replied.

"Yea we could do that..."

We both sat there, knowing what would be the right thing to do, and I am sure both contemplating the implications of what such an action would mean and the inconvenience caused. Those 10 seconds until the green light hit were filled with moral tension. Our silence said everything as we turned the corner.

On our way back, we saw him again, only this time with two police cars accompanying him. It seemed that he was begging illegally or that they didn't want him there to be seen. Whatever the case, he was being dislocated or arrested.

It's not often a person gets to see the consequences of their action, but when you do, keep it with you as a reminder. Everyone passed this man by, but why does the burden lay on me?


John 9:49: Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Ugly Door

There once was a man, who upon dying, found himself at the end of a long hallway. Meeting him was an angel, but good or bad he could not tell. Unsure of what to do and frightened, he ventured down a little further until he came to a door. Not just any door, but the most repulsive door he had ever laid eyes on. It reeked of death, so much so that his eyes watered and the man began to vomit. He ran back the other way, doing anything to escape that door as quick as possible for he never wanted to see such a terrifying thing again.

He ran into the angel yet again, and asked him "What is behind that awful door there?", his adrenaline overcoming his fear. The angel replied, "That door is the quickest way to see Jesus."

The man's heart sank. He wanted to see Jesus more than anything, but could not believe Jesus would reside behind such a door. Nonetheless, he gathered up his courage and reached for the door. He held his breath, closed his eyes, and ran in.

Upon opening them, he was in the whitest of rooms. The room was empty if not for a single chair. "This must be the waiting room to see Jesus" he thought, so he took a seat.

Immediately the room whirled around him. Images and pictures of horrible and unimaginable things surged around him. Murders, rapes, genocides, injustice, and suffering of his family and all his children, all of which were the result of things he had done in life. He tried to close his eyes, but the images persisted a seared his mind. "Make them stop!" he cried, but they only got worse. He fell flat on his face, weeping over the sorrow in the world, weeping for children, weeping for women he did not even know, but more than than weeping for himself. Overwhelmed until not an ounce of him wanted to live or even exist, he lay broken and beaten down. "No more... no more... This pain I cannot bear!" he whimpered.

"And no more must you endure for my sake. Now that you know the pain of my Father, your sins are forgiven." Jesus lifted him up. "My Lord!" exclaimed the man, now full of the Spirit, "Now I know just how far you came for me! Forever will I sing your praise! Forever will I praise your Name, the Lord most gracious and merciful! For now I know my debt, and now I can know forgiveness!"

With that, he left through the same door in which he came. Turning back to see the door one last time, he saw the most beautiful and ornate door he had ever laid eyes on. The door looked exactly the same as when he first saw it, but now his eyes were opened and filled with light. The angel turned and smiled at him, saying, "May I add one more pinch of humility?" The man, feeling so invigorated with life after going through what he just did, nodded. The angel motioned to his feet, "You stepped in something."

The King of the Closet

A man wrestles in an empty room
fighting back his impending doom
for in the room there is a closet
Alone he struggles in a fight to lock it

Behind that door lies vicious things
monsters and demons with claws and wings
his hands are pushed against the paint
as tooth and nail lash on his face

blood and sweat drip from his brow
But a voice beckons to him now
A man appears in purest white
standing across the room but out of sight

"Let it go and take my hand
Why do you suffer? On what do you stand?"
The man responds in frightful cry
"You're too far away! I'll surely die!"

"Let it go and take my hand
Take this passage to the promised land"
The man sends back a panting groan
"I'll never make it! I'll never get home!"

On and on the battle waged
What was minutes carried on like days
The man pleaded for the other's life
For the man and his closet locked in strife

Until at last the man collapsed
resigned to his fate he took one last grasp
His hand fell on Jesus so He took his hand
and lifted him to to stand man to man

He stood right behind him the entire time
but his fears changed the sight of his mind
The monster's in his closet weren't monsters at all
What seemed so big now seemed so small

This is the moral of the story
That broken things will return to glory
In learning to die in self reflection
this is the cycle of Resurrection

This is a story of grace and truth
And the time it takes to heal all wounds
In Christ the pain will be transformed
to make light of darkness and be reborn

Not To Be

Oh what do I inquire
that is my heart's desire
if I live lightly
would that be a lie?

A Persona's a mask
a hefty task
My facade's a joke
this is my yoke

But we're counting our losses
We're kicking down crosses
We're calling upon the name
but we're chanting in vain

Help me now to spread the news
put on your gloves, your hat, your ruse
Raise your hands and make a fist
Check brotherly love off your list

If we were to die tomorrow
would we return the life we borrow?
Or will we be caught dead asleep
our posts abandoned, but the yoke we keep?

But we're running the race
We're setting the pace
We're getting there fast, we're getting there first
But we're finding only an awful thirst!

Can we light our torches for candles to see?
Can we be more than just to be?
Shall I justify myself or just surrender?
This life lies past the pretender

My eyes are dimming, my thoughts like vapor
I am the law, the caped crusader
I can save you, if that's what you wish
But where I'll take you is worse than this

But we're clinging to our ornate crosses
We're keeping with them all our drosses
We're burning them now in refinery flashes
But we're covering our faces with the ashes!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Out of Commission

This is in response to what God has been revealing to me these past couple weeks (as I attempt to connect seemingly unrelated messages). I just got back from an invigorating Spiritual formation class. My spirit feels restless/excited/joyful so I thought some reflection on the themes of my life were in order. Also, forgive me, I jump all over the place, as is my mind's custom. A lot of stuff is being said that's been hitting me, so I write it down as I remember it through free association.

To start: my recent Facebook Status:

If A) I cannot lose my salvation (and fairly certain I am in the process), and if B) God exists outside of time (meaning all things that were, are and are to come are already to God), then does C) I am already worshiping God in heaven with all the angels and saints logically follow?


If time began when the universe was created and will end when Jesus comes back and the fullness of God's kingdom is seen on this earth, then this period known as "time" is just a blip in God's eternity. This must be true in order that God may be outside of time, hence unchangeable. Creation then, is a story with a beginning and a end, as told by the Bible, and through the history of the early church, up to the present day until the return of Christ (as told in revelation). If this is true, then the Fall of man had to happen to bless us with free will. If the story is already told, then God knows us well enough to know every single choice we'd make in all circumstances. Freedom becomes then not an instrument of choice, but rather an ability to become that which God requires of you in the story, unencumbered by sin and the slavery tied with it.

If this seems scary to you, it's because it is. Am I suggesting you just resign to your fate, if it is already written? Yes, but do you know why? God is a benevolent God. He wrote the story of your life. He wants to write a great ending for you if you resign the right to write your own story. It would be scary as Hell if God was a passive God, but this is the Gospel, that God came down to Earth to act on our behalf. And you best believe that God will use anything and everything (including permitting evil) to transform you to be the person God made you to be (this is what I meant when I said "freedom to become"). I count every struggle in my life past to be a blessing for without those, I would not be who I am today, redeemed in Christ from so much. Giving up your life, you will receive blessings far beyond those you could think you could want, but you will face hardships bigger than you could ever imagine, except now you have a powerful ally beyond all comprehension. God's imagination, unlike ours, is infinite. He just has to speak his Word and it come to be. If you don't think so, look at all the multitudes of animals, plants, fish, molecules, atoms, particles, planets, galaxies, and stars far beyond what someone could count. Each one was made, and each one is unique somehow. Though God may lead you through hard times, you know He leads you to salvation. Therefore do everything you can to make sure that the path you are on and the story you are in is God's epic tale, written in His Book of Life. God help those who reject this word, I pray it is not too late.

Now the question becomes, do you know what story you are living out? Is it a story of unconditional love and great sacrifice leading to redemption, or a bitter tale of misery after the pursuit of material things that you can't take with you in death. You get to choose the kind of role you want, but God already knows both what is best for you and what you will inevitably choose (and since God is love and truth, God will not manipulate you into loving Him. It must be your choice.). He weeps over every soul, for all must stand before him before being sentenced, if only so that Christ himself may see the face of his fallen child one last time.

When you die and jump into eternity, it is the same as waking up from a dream. You do not know how much time has passed since your death, but you will see all the saints and all the angels, all the prophets and the apostles, and the Triune God in full Glory. Knowing the truth such as this, who could deny the power of the gospel to save? Certainly Jesus believed in his message, and so did Paul, as they taught fervently. As Jesus said in Mark 1:38 "Let us go somewhere else-- to the nearby villages-- so I can preach there also. This is why I have come" He said this many sick people were seeking him out for healing. He left them unhealed. Was it lack of compassion? No, but Jesus had a mission. He not only proclaimed the Gospel, he WAS the Gospel.

Jesus prayed for future believers who would believe on account of the Apostle's message (John 17). That's us! Jesus prayed for US, that by our love Christ would be deified. That by our love we would show the world that Jesus is the one true God. With today's communication age, mass evangelism and spreading the gospel message has become so easy. We have Christian TV, radio, podcasts, websites, and sermons. The list goes on, but there is one problem. Jesus didn't call us to convert others with the Gospel. Matthew 28:19-20 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very ends of the age."

Let's look at the phrase "in the name of the Father..." The word "name" isn't just a label. If you do a word study on how the "name" is used culturally, it is his very presence. In the name of God means in the presence of God to Hebrews. God is actually there doing the baptizing! Miracles in the name of God! There is power in Jesus's name! There is no power in saying the word Jesus; that is magic, not faith. Jesus is just a Spanish boy's name, but rather it's Jesus's presence in us and with us and that is power! Going back to John 17:24 "Father, I want those You have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." Jesus dwells in us, so that when we love (for God is love), we are in Christ as Christ is in the Father, hence proving Jesus's status as Lord so that "all may believe".

Getting back to the original point, Jesus didn't say go make converts, but go make disciples. What is a disciple? One who has been disciplined. I can tell a million people about Christ dying on a cross, convert a few, and yet disciple none of them. What this communication age has enabled us to do as far mass evangelism, it has equally crippled us in terms of authentic personal discipleship. There is only one thing you need to do the will of God: The human voice. No projectors, no guitars, no amps, no microphones, none of that is needed. Are they bad? No, just extraneous. You know why discipleship is lacking? It's hard because love is hard. Discipleship takes a lot of your time to put up with a disciple, to love them to pay attention to and listen to them even when they are being a nuisance and you have others things you want to do. I became a Christian because someone really took the time to love me, even when I knew I was being overly clingy and attached. What Jesus said was true, that through love, unbelievers will know Jesus Christ is Lord and God. All it took was for someone to show me the love of Christ. Love is not any emotion or feeling. Any narcotics junkie can feel the same emotional high you can on a weekend retreat with God. You don't need God for fleeting feelings, but if you want to love, a love that takes patience and kindness, that does not envy or boast, then you need discipline. You need God.

If your Christian walk is easy, it's wrong. Are you not struggling with sin? Do you say you have a pretty good faith? Do you feel like your life is up to standard? Chances are you aren't doing what God requires of you. John 6:29 "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." To believe in Christ is to believe in his Word, to believe in his word is to obey his teaching, to obey his teaching is to be his disciple, to be his disciple is not inherit the Kingdom of God. Did Jesus say easy things? "I have come with a sword to turn a man against his father..." "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off..." "Sell all of your possessions..." "Deny yourself and take up your cross..." Is this your response: "He couldn't have meant that literally! That is too hard! Who could survive if they just left everything they had to proclaim his name? Jesus would never sacrifice my happiness (or my iPod!) for the sake of the Gospel!" Awful things happen when people get too comfortable in their faith. The more comfortable you are, the less you pray, the less you seek God, the more you feel in control of your own life, the more you write your own way to destruction. "How hard it is for the rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven!... Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of heaven! It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God!" "But small is the gate and narrow is the path that leads to life, and only a few find it" (Mark 10:23-25) (Matthew 7:13)

Jesus said there will be persecutions if we leave everything for Christ's sake and the sake of the gospel, but that is one thing America lacks. Why? Why do I want persecution? I don't just want it, I pray for it because it is harder to be a Christian in America than in any other country without religious freedom. Your life is literally on the line if you preach the gospel in China. You risk social shame and imprisonment. In America, everyone thinks they are saved because they prayed the sinner's prayer once and wrote down the date in their Bible. Everything is alright, everyone is a Christian. In China, you must have faith, you must be committed to and know what you believe. In America, you just have to go to church. So many Americans are lulled into a false sense of security because they figure as long as they do what everyone else in the church does, they are good. It keeps me up at night thinking about how many Americans are in danger of Hell. Our churches don't help the problem. Our churches are more influenced by the culture than are influences of culture. Good financial stewardship means budgeting your money appropriately towards the capitalist goal so you can have an SUV and a house in the suburbs (which count as "God's blessing"). Evangelism means handing out groceries once a month to inner city families without caring about who they even are. Giving your possessions to the poor means donating the stuff you don't want or that doesn't fit you anymore so you can buy new stuff. We have always had an interesting way of twisting scripture to serve our purposes (Read Mark 7)

I am also afraid that you do not need God for truth. Before I get stoned for saying that, I am not saying God does not provide divine and perfect truth (as he plentifully does as pertaining to Scripture), but he reveals only what is necessary for us to know to work out our salvation in fear and trembling. In terms of Epistemology i.e. "What is true", Buddhists have a limited understanding, although their Ontology i.e. "What is real" is flawed. What is real precedes what is true. For example, say you know someone has the flu. You then know what must be true (that person has a fever, is achy, etc.) If you first knew what was true, you may arrive with any sort of realities that could fit that (a flu, a cold, malaria, etc.) Christians know what is real first (the Great I AM, the boldest statement of being), and Buddhists arrived at what is true first. I think they understand some aspects of truth better than Christians. I say this because if there exists universal truth, it is true for all and can be discovered by all (to varying degrees of totality). I've studied Buddhism in light of Christianity, and I can honestly say it helped me understand Scriptures on a deeper level. It only magnified Christ to me. What troubled me was the fact that another "religion" could stumble upon any truth without Christ who is "the truth". We could learn something from them as they emphasize spiritual experience, vibrant inner life, and fervent practice (things I feel modern Christianity lacks).

So what does Christianity offer us that is unique? What about communion (conversation, eating and drinking) at the same table as the God who created the heavens and the Earth? What about a personal relationship with a loving God who cares about someone so insignificant? What about a mentor who can teach us how to love so that we can restore this fallen world and thus usher in the Kingdom of God? If I didn't believe God could redeem this world, then I don't believe God can redeem me, and if God can't redeem me, then I have no business being here working towards useless goals. This body is as good as dead, for that is the only thing I can expect in life.

Jesus said Heaven and earth will pass away, so the kingdom you will be in will be the fullness of the kingdom God that He is building "now" (to us who are caught in time) to descend upon Earth with Jesus as it's rightful Lord and King. The victory is already won, the Kingdom of God is near! It will be already finished in eternity, you will be in a place where time has already ended, i.e. the world is no more, heaven is no more, just God and his Word in everlasting worship. If Abraham died, Isaiah died, and someone died 20 minutes before the rapture, they all will wake up to a Kingdom where everyone who will ever be there will be there already (if it is indeed outside time).

Of course this is contingent on a few things: 1) God being outside of time (the Eternal God) as opposed to the "Evolving God" model proposed by process theism and 2) God's sovereignty over all things in conjunction with the Truth of Human Free Will.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Theirs is the Kingdom

I met a woman outside of subway today asking for a dollar. I asked if I could buy her something, and she told me up front she actually wanted it for a cigarette. After getting my sandwich, I thought I would give it to her but say "I don't want you to use it for smoking." I think then the Spirit told me "She doesn't need that shit right now. She just wants a cigarette, not a sermon. She gets enough scorn and criticism on her lifestyle without your help." And then I gave her a dollar and joked around with her and shook her hand. Her hands were warm and soft, and mine were a bit cold and calloused. I don't think a dollar was enough for what she gave me.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What is offensive to God?

Ok, so a disclaimer: This post uses "profanity" I guess it's rated PG.

This has been on my mind for a little bit now. I really don't know what I want to write, so I'm just going to start writing down my thoughts to distract myself. My heart feels heavy, and I don't know why. I do find that I write better when I am tired, and when I am tired I am more easily depressed. Well maybe not better, but my thoughts become more fluid. If you have ever talked to me when I'm tired, you know I ramble on and on going from point to point. This is that but in written form. I have a weird ability to extrovert my introverted thinking, so you hear my inner thought process with myself. Ok, let's start writing now (I mean on the topic).

So what is offensive to God? Maybe we should start with what is not. Certainly nothing God created is offensive to him. Rats, roaches, saliva, bacteria, blood, sweat, urine, seminal fluid, fecal matter, and sex all fall into that category. Actually, all of existence falls into this category. Dr. Schutz said something in class on Monday that I myself have often wondered about. If Jesus was a human man, then he had hormones human males have. He experienced puberty, and all the awkwardness associated with it, yet remained without sin. Nobody likes to think of Jesus going to the bathroom, yet he must have (else I doubt he was human). Why then, if God is not offended by these things, do they offend us so much? Generally when something pure and Holy like God becomes comes down to the level of man and dies on a cross, we would call that defamation, desecration, and profanation, yet it wasn't. On the contrary, it was the most beautiful thing to have ever happened on Earth.

Dr. Polischuk, my counseling professor, gave me a thought provoking image. He asked, "Who here swallows their own saliva?" Naturally, we all raised our hands. He followed with this, "So if I asked you to spit in a cup and ten minutes later told you to drink your own saliva, would you do it?" You really could see everyone's stomachs turn at the thought. Even the thought of seeing someone's naked body can be repulsive. There are things that are not appropriate dinner conversation because they make us lose our appetite. It is apparent to me that in culture, certain things are taboo to talk about. Revelation of the century, I know, but honestly there is a primal fear that drives societal norms.

I've made a promise to myself not to live in fear after God freed me from my anxieties. The day I realized that the main reason I didn't do certain things or pursue certain goals was because I had anxiety of rejection and failure. I don't know about you guys, but when you are not able to CHOOSE an alternative option because of a condition that is inflicted upon you, that is slavery. E.g. I can't go to the movies because I am in prison or I can't go outside because I am afraid of trees. Here's a more common example, "I can't tell people about my masturbation habit, they will judge me." I believe that is the most common fear among human beings, the fear of being judged.

This reminds me of something my Pastor at ECIC said during his sermon on Sunday (paraphrased a bit), "Isn't that what the first three months of dating is? It's lying to each other for as long as you can so they don't find out how bad you actually are. I had a friend in college who you could tell when he had a date because his room would never be so clean. I was like, 'Hello? Is this the same guy?' That's why you shouldn't rush into marriage, or else you'll find yourself rushing right out!" I think we are all liars. Every single second we are lying because we cannot be our true selves out of fear. Often times it's offensive to be your true self.

Personal Anecdote: I used to swear a lot. You may not think so, but if you knew me in the past, you would know what I mean. It's probably why a lot of people thought I would be the least likely of people to become faithful. I girl I knew in High School even told me that my one flaw was that I swore too much. I was not afraid to be offensive, as my college friends can attest. There was a saying about me "If there is a line any where, I would be the first to cross it. If there was ever a question "Did he just go there?" the answer is "Yes, he went there."" I was the king of taking it too far for the sake of a joke. When I became a Christian, a lot of people wondered what happened to me. I used to be... fun. I became uppity and self righteous. If I was held to a standard, I wanted everyone around me to be held to that standard. Needless to say I pushed away a lot of my friends, and hurt a lot more. I regret it even now, and it still hurts. Why? I didn't think the way I was was good enough to be a Christian. I felt I had to change because I wouldn't be accepted as I am. It was a false assumption. "Come all you empty handed, you don't need anything"

Okay, remembering how much of a jerk I was didn't help my mood any, but I will press on. I wish I felt free to swear at Seminary. I wish I felt free to swear among my Christian friends. You know how I know I wish these things? I don't like people who swear, especially Christians. I hate it because I secretly desire to do it but I am too much of a coward. Sometimes I just want to use the word ass. No I don't want to say butt, I want to say ass because "This song kicks ass!" conveys the feeling I want, as opposed to "This song kicks butt!" Everything has a connotation and a denotation. While the two phrases are the same in denotation (definition) they differ in connotation (implied emotion/ cultural subtext). How a language can be offensive I never understood. Why is ass offensive and not butt? Language is a complicated beast, and evolves over time (yes, I believe in evolution...)

Take the word "n*gger" (actually I never understood censoring words either, you still know what it says). This used to be a common place word pre-civil rights movement but is now offensive when used by anyone who isn't Black because of the history of oppression associated with it. Actually that is another term that is sensitive, "Black". I am comfortable calling people Black because I have no other term from someone who is African/Afro-Carribean in descent, but whose family has been in the US longer than many European families. However, there is a connotation of it that can be offensive, e.g. "She's so BLACK" as opposed to "I know Black people."

All this to say that I don't know how words can be "Curse words" if their meanings are the product of socio-cultural context and are fluid and transient. I feel like the sentiment is "Christians shouldn't swear" because of James 3:10 "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." I don't believe words like "ass" or "motherfucker" are "curses". Hell, I have a friend whose way of wishing me a happy Birthday is to leave me a voice mail saying "Happy Birthday, motherfucker!" Is he wishing me ill or harm (aka "cursing" me)? I think it's hilarious actually. These words are so mainstream that they lost their meaning of old. If someone where to flip me off, I'd probably laugh that people still do that. What gives that gesture any meaning other than our minds? How can things that have negative connotations in our minds be offensive to God?
Biblical Anecdote (Mark 14:61-64): Again the high priest asked him, “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?”

62 “I am,” said Jesus. “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”
63 The high priest tore his clothes. “Why do we need any more witnesses?” he asked.

64 “You have heard the blasphemy. What do you think?”
They all condemned him as worthy of death.

You would think for a people who have been looking for their Messiah for thousands of years, they would want to investigate fully any claim someone made to be the Christ. Finding the Christ is supposed to be one of the most joyous moments in the history of the Jews, yet we see instead the high priest tearing his clothes. That means nothing to us, but to the Jewish culture, tearing your clothes was a gesture of extreme disgust. However, the high priests tearing of his clothes is even more significant than that. The high priest is never allowed to show signs of mourning, which included the tearing of clothing or having hair that was disheveled or uncovered. He went so far as to break Jewish law because he found Jesus's "blasphemy" so offensive.

This is my point: Sometimes we don't see how we are being offensive to God when we find others are offensive to us. It was not Jesus who was in the wrong for expressing who he is, rather it was his judge who condemned him who actually broke the law. How I wish being among Christian brothers and sisters automatically meant that you are free from being judged and condemned no matter what you say or do! Wouldn't I swear more if I weren't afraid that I would be deemed unacceptable? I feel trapped to the label of what a "good Christian" is. I believe there is no such thing. We should feel free to "come as we are", and then choose to be other wise. That is what freedom is. It's the ability to be who you really are, and CHOOSE to be otherwise. God accepted me for who I am, and loved me anyway. Isn't that one of the greatest gifts ever? Why don't we show this to others? Can I be accepted into the Christian Social group despite the fact that I curse?

Throughout my Christian experience, I've learned that Christians come in all shapes and sizes. From gang members to Southern gentry, there's just no stereotyping what a Christian looks like. People who have other wise no shared interests share one powerful common belief and can praise together in the same room. Some of my friends now I probably wouldn't have been friends with if not for Christ. Sometimes I think to myself, "There is no way that person can be a Christian. They don't look like one!" and then I end up talking to one of the most insightful Christians I've ever met and kicking myself for judging them. There simply is no room to judge someone's faith based on their appearance.

On a side note, I must say I hate it when a Christian comes up to me and says, "Do you know Jesus?" or tries to hand me some piece of paper with a "turn or burn" message on it. I hate it when people assume things about me.

Fresno Anecdote: Phil and Rici Skei are not your average neighbors. They are relocators, which basically means that they moved from the suburbs into a high crime high poverty neighborhood in Fresno. Occasionally, charitable Christians would stop by their door with groceries. They have good intentions, but they leave a bitter feeling in Phil and Rici's mouth. It sucks that people assume you can't provide for your family because of where you live so you get handouts. It's not only insulting, but demoralizing to the people who can't actually provide for their families, serving as a reminder of their ineptitude. Christians who do this get to walk away with the good feeling that "They loved their neighbor." Like Phil says, "How can you love your neighbor if you don't even know who they are? Do you love someone how you want to love them at your convenience, or how they want to be loved?" Nevertheless, these Christians come back religiously with their hands full of groceries.

That's the problem when I write from the top of my head, I never stay on topic. It also seems to be 3 hours later and I'm only now getting to my original question: What is offensive to God?

Anything that breaks his one commandment to us: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -Matthew 22:37-40

This is what cursing is: To reject your brothers and sisters and in doing to denying them your love. This is the very act of wishing them harm. We curse more often than we think. Any time we make jokes at someone else's expense, we reject Jesus. It may be in good fun, or in sarcasm or just playing around, but when revealed for what it truly is, it is a denial that that person was made in the image of God. Humor is just a socially acceptable, sophisticated defense mechanism. If you are laughing, it doesn't hurt. Now I believe God has a sense of humor, but he doesn't laugh at the same things we laugh at. Like a parent taking delight in their child's silliness, I can see Jesus smiling upon us. But like a parent looking upon their child hurting other children in their immaturity, he is hurt. When we are children, we do the things children do, but we cannot remain children forever. There comes a time when God expects us to mature, to become who we are without restrictions. Until then, God gives us the grace to grow, to make mistakes, and to learn.

I want to see a community that lives under grace, and not under the law. If we were under the law, our path leads to death. The law is easy to teach; you do this, than this happens. Grace is harder. As one who lives under grace, all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. Your sins hold no consequence to you anymore, so why live like they do? Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting! Shall we rejoice because we are not condemned? I think someone can live their life trying not to sin, but I regard such activity as folly. You will never stop sinning, and one sin is a great as 50 sins in terms of consequence. That is life under the law, trying to make sure you do everything right so you do not offend God. My friend, you are already offensive to God. In grace, the only consequence is regret for not serving the kingdom better. One consequence under grace is that we miss out on the benefits we could've otherwise had. For example, the consequences of not going to the gym are that you do not get the benefits of exercise. If we do not live for Christ (i.e. denying ourselves, taking up our cross, sacrificing everything else we could be doing (i.e. everything) in favor of things that promote his Kingdom, etc.) the consequence is that people will not know about the love of Jesus Christ, and the freedom they now have to become who they actually are without fear of judgment!

The other consequence under grace is this: we become a stumbling block to someone's faith in the Gospel. The way Paul writes about what actions he should take are all determined by one thing : Does it win someone fro Christ? Paul would say that there is nothing wrong with drinking, however if it would cause my brother to stumble, than I will not do it. It's like smoking in front of someone fighting an addiction. Paul himself doesn't have a drinking problem, but he will refrain if it will help his brother overcome it. Paul was truly a free man, living under grace. When trying to decide whether you should do something or not, I think the wrong question to ask is "Is it a sin?" but rather ask yourself, "Will this hinder someone's acceptance of the Gospel? Will it cause them to stray?" Paul acknowledges that there are already many stumbling blocks for new believers and that we should try our best not to add more.

This is Christ's prayer for us in John 17 "I pray for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in You. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me... I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." Jesus prayed for us! He had us in mind during the time he spent alive. Amazing! You see what this says: Through our unity and love for each other, Christ will prove his deity so that the world would believe in Him! This couples in conjunction with the great commission "to make disciples of all nations." Jesus tells us how to do it, and Jesus gives us a definition of how to love through the Holy Spirit in Paul "Love is patient. Love is kind..."(1 Corinthians 13). Read that passage and insert Jesus wherever you see love. Read it again and insert your own name. Does it still make sense? (John is patient. John is kind. John does not envy. John does not boast. John is not proud...) I can tell you right now not all of those things are true (if any at all), so obviously I need to work on what it means to love. It's not a passage on the romanticized ideal of love, its a practical guide.

Who is going to believe in Jesus if we actually do outlaw gay marriage and marginalize the GLBT community? Who is going to turn to the gospel if we get abortions outlawed? Who is going to say "Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior!" if we continue to ignore the plight of immigrants or the poverty in our own cities? The last thing anyone needs is another person telling them they are living their lives wrong and the need a savior. That doesn't sound like good news to me, and it doesn't to anyone else I know. Evangelism is another one of those words with a negative connotation in our society, and we wonder why?

In summary, let's put our childish ways behind us and mature. Let us love each other under grace, not under the law. Let us be free to be as we are, not slaves to our fears.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Drop it

Zen Buddhists hold that the path to nirvana entails a giving up of all wants and desires (even for enlightenment). Jesus says a similar thing when he says "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God. Indeed, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." We are people with needs, some invented by our eyes, some which are real in our hearts. The need for material things and wealth happens to be of our eyes.

Once we understand and can appreciate all that we do have now, we suddenly notice those around us. When we no longer want, we can be satisfied. The American dream includes the pursuit of happiness because under that model you will never actually get it. You are always going for the next bigger and better thing. Our society runs on and promotes the natural human error of greed. We don’t think in terms of the betterment of America and of our neighbors in society anymore, but we think about what is best for ourselves. The Chinese mentality is what can I do to advance China? The Indian mentality is what can I do for India? Many cultures in the world follow collectivistic thinking. We are just now starting to see the power of that kind of thinking. JFK said a long time ago. “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

In light of the government bailing out major corporations, perhaps an economy based on intrinsic human flaws was not the best idea. If we were really to follow laissez-faire philosophy and let the market correct itself, we’d just watch it crash. Perhaps we’ve come full circle to watch the great Depression happen again. Perhaps what we see now is a pre-emptive version of FDR’s new deal. I don’t see why people get pissed off about it, it’s the only thing keeping people from giving up hope to spend. I think we’ve been so ingrained with the mentality of fairness (Why do they deserve handouts when I’ve been working hard my whole life and never went into debt? Where is mine!), we think we deserve fairness without sacrifice. You gave up certain rights by agreeing to live in America for the safety and benefit of the whole. Does there need to be an immediate reward, and instant gratification, for satiation? If we take what we can get now, our future does not hold any promise, but sacrifice and hard work now pays off in the future. We’ve been enjoying the hard work and sacrifice of the past generation a little too long now. It’s time to do a little ourselves.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A New Genderation

So what makes a man? Biologically we could say that a man would be any person that has a Y chromosome, but that is what makes someone male, not masculine, and even still there are aberrations to the rule. If we try and define a man by certain characteristics (both inner and outer), it proves to be problematic. Clearly, with all the surgery that is available to us, a penis and testicles does not a man make. But what then, are those inner attributes that would deem one masculine or feminine? It terms of westernized society, men can be neatly classified as either heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual. This narrows the view of society into different groups. But where does that leave the effeminate male? They are isolated from what western society has deemed “men” or “straight”, into a category all their own. Now there has been a label put out on this group of people, as queer or gay, regardless of their sexual preferences or innate gender. It seems then what defines men in western culture are those people who follow the pressures of social manhood (such as exaggerating one's sexual need for women, and suppressing one's sexual need for men).

Anytime when people are put into groups, conflict breaks out, even if the groups are completely arbitrary. Feelings of superiority, fear of being part of the other group and losing identity as a member of the current group, and stereotypes all arise from this social view that groups people like this. This is problematic to the functioning of society as a whole.

Sexual orientation has become a social construct to explain any aberrations from the general male or female structure set up in western culture. This is evident by the fact that within the “queer” group, there have been terms such as lesbian, gay, transgendered, bisexual, questioning, intersex, and many more coming about every time one doesn’t quite fit. Obviously trying to define people through their sexual preferences is a complex matter. Homosexuality as a term did not exist prior the mid 1900’s. It’s been argued that men in the early 1900’s did engage in male-male sexual relations more commonly than today, but with the invention of the word sexual orientation, males decline from doing so because of the social stigma’s and pressures on sexuality now present. Men who do continue to feel sexual attractions towards men will often be isolated. There is a definite stigma that has resulted with the invention of the term.

Is this correct thinking? Is it unnatural for men to have such desires? Cross culturally, in many non-western areas, the concept of male sexuality towards other males is universal, and not the characteristic of a minority of males. In India, same-sex desire may be openly acknowledged in spaces socially defined as male but denied in formal or mixed gender spaces. The non-western way of thinking about gender is in terms of the active vs. the passive. Everyone has an innate gender which would make someone simply a man or a woman. A masculine man to them would be someone who engages actively in sex and the man who likes to receive (orally or anally) pleasure would be deemed the effeminate male, which is also known as the “third gender”, being partly male and female.
Now a “homosexual”, as westerners call it, in non-western culture, is one who exhibits the female characteristics, even if he only has sex with women. A man in an exclusive relationship with another man could be deemed not homosexual if he is always in the active role. Homosexuality denotes not sexual orientation, but the third gender.

It seems then as a consequence to the western approach to sexual orientation and gender roles, any and all male/male affectations are seen as “gay”, where in other cultures it is perfectly normal (holding hands, hugging, kissing on the cheek). It is the fear of being considered “one of them” than keeps the social pressures of masculinity in place. This process has been called heterosexualization. Men can have the desire for relationship with other men, as I will discuss later, but by no means should it be the definition.

In Christian religion, the act of sodomy is deemed wrong, however the word homosexual was nonexistent as we know it today. There is nothing in the Bible which would suggest that close male relationships were wrong, but in fact there are often clear examples of same sex relationships that went beyond the normal scope of friendship. King David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, Jesus and John, Paul and Timothy were amongst those in the Bible with deep love for each other. David was quoted in 2 Samuel 1:26 as saying “Your [Jonathan’s] love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of a woman.” It seems that deep male relationships were a thing to be admired rather than scorned for being “homosexual”. Ruth said to Naomi in Ruth 1:16-17 “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely if anything but death separates you and me.” This is used today in many heterosexual marriage ceremonies, but it describes a deep, nonsexual, bond between to same gendered people. These relationships weren't sexual at all, but their intimacy surpassed that of friendships we know today. There is no evidence that would suggest these types of bonds to be wrong or immoral.

Even among historical figures outside religion, romantic relationships are respectable things. Shakespeare wrote 26 sonnets about a woman, but 126 sonnets about a man called “Fair Lord”, and looking through the lens of western society, many speculate that Shakespeare was bisexual or homosexual, but there isn’t anything describing sexual acts between them. In fact sodomy was a crime in Shakespeare’s time, but it was still socially acceptable to have relationships such as his. Elizabethans tended to write about friendships in more intense languages than today as well.

Western culture has all but stigmatized close same sex relations. People are forced into roles or risk exile. What we see now as the gay pride movement is actually a backlash to this isolation and repression. When you isolate a bunch of people together, they naturally will form a group against their suppressors. There is nothing wrong with the man who desires close contact and deep relationship with another man, regardless of sexual intent. Western culture has in essence created homosexuality, and consequently heterosexuality where previously no such things existed. Homosexuals and heterosexuals as we know it today are not what we define them to be. Certainly the words came into use from a basis, but have been taken to mean something they do not. A homosexual is not a man who desires a deep companion relationship with another man (though it does not preclude this desire) but rather a man who experiences sexual arousal from other men. It is biologically instinctual in some to desire other men, regardless of sexual intent, and what society has constructed homosexuality to be is clearly problematic.

We need to be careful in what we deem homosexual, two men holding hands isn't gay, desiring to be with another man in such a deep fashion is no homosexual either. There is no sexuality associated with those acts, rather it is the explicit intent to want sexual bonds with other men that is homosexual. This repression of one’s innate desire to connect to humanity in their own preferred way only leads to negative consequences: hurt, confusion, and rebellion. In a western society, there are men who experience desires for other men who do not know what to do with themselves. They are caught in a purgatory between homosexuality and heterosexuality, but clearly if this need for companionship is nonsexual, it cannot be homosexual. Desires for the same sex should not be confused with homosexual desires.

In short, this process of heterosexualization in western culture needs to be reversed. Men should not be defined by their basic innate desires for intimacy which all people possess. The homosexual man is no less of a man than the heterosexual one, nor is the man who expresses desire of relationship without sexual intent any less masculine than the man who wants female attention all the time. There is an exclusion of people deemed inferior, where in actuality no such thing as the better person exists. I find it funny the phrase how the phrase "No homo" has worked itself into society as a way of expressing male desire for other men other than that of homosexuality. The two are distinct, but western culture has deemed both platonic and sexual love to be homosexuality. This needs to be reconciled if we are to make advancements in this view of human sexuality.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

If you meet a Buddha, Kill a Buddha: Crucifixion

Instead of being bored, I decided to take a page out of Professor Raposa's book (literally) and reflect on spiritual things. I've been reading Living Buddha, Living Christ and have found some really interesting ideas in it which I preceded to think about. This probably isn't pure philosophy, and may border on theology. I could probably write a book on the exact same subject, but with my leanings on the Christ side. Let me point out my standpoint is that of a practicing follower of Christ, not Buddhist. However, I think Buddhism can give us a new language to describe the things in the Bible in a new light which can garner deeper understanding.

Some initial points from the book:

God cannot be constrained to a concept or word.
God can only be experienced personally.

If God could be constrained withing the limits of man, we would get Jesus Christ. Jesus is an image of the Father in a way we could understand concretely. God the Father must be greater than the man Jesus, for "No servant is greater than his Master" (John 13:16) This is interesting since Jesus himself makes claims to be the Father, so what does it mean to be greater?

God is nothing, and out of Him came everything.
Perhaps to make it clear what I mean by nothing, it is that which cannot be thought about or described, but only experienced. God is Love, God is Just, God is Gracious and Merciful, God is Nothing, all things which must be experienced to truly understand their meaning. I am not saying God doesn't exist (that is his very nature, "I am" is the simplest expression of existence), rather I am examing the complex fusion of nothingness and somethingness. Like the space between the nucleus and an electron cloud, or the space between the planets. It's definitely there, it exists. This idea that "God is nothing, and out of Him came everything" can be accounted for by both the Big Bang and Genesis accounts of a sort of creation ex nihilo. In order for God to have existed pre-Big Bang, He must have been the emptiness or nothingness beforehand. If we know then that the universe is expanding into this infinite nothingness, than it gives a sort of a Panentheistic worldview. God is the nothingness which contains the universe (the non-nothingness). And perhaps then there are other universes outside ours in his infinite nothingness that we know nothing about. The New Testament makes references to kingdoms and "sheep" (John 10:16) we know nothing about, perhaps it references this. Perhaps we will never see these other kingdoms.

Also if I take into account that God is that than which nothing greater can be conceived, and how the New Testament emphasizes that greatness in the Kingdom of God means to become the least, in order for God in His kingdom to be the greatest, he must be the least. Nothing is less than nothing. Greatness would come from a lack of Self, and thus a lack of Self Awareness. God made Adam and Eve in his image, and you could argue that they had no concept of Self apart from God, that Adam and Eve knew they were the same because they came from the same source (the Rib and ultimately God). It wasn't until they ate the fruit that they became self-aware of their nakedness, and instantly felt shame. Perhaps we were not made to have concepts of our self (Identity, worth, purpose) apart from God.

For God's to be nothing, it gives Him a wild, untamed and unknown nature. He is unpredictable to us, and His ways are not understood by us and could probably look evil at times, but He is benevolent, if what we've seen Jesus to be is actually true. Jesus could not save everyone until He was free of his physical body. His death, and subsequent transition into "nothingness", gave him power to conquer death for others as well. He is now seated at the right hand of the Father, akin in nothingness and greatness. Only Jesus knew the Father, who is unknowable and cannot be thought about, because Jesus experienced the Father in Him, and Him in the Father. He needed no mental concept of God. The ultimate goal is to be close to God, and you can't get any closer than to be in Him and Him in you, to be one. It seems then, to be one with God, one must give up all concepts of the self and of God, because even they divide and separate us from God in our minds. That is sin by it's very definition, an act which separates us from God. Then through this, we all live in sin everyday by asserting our individuality. Perhaps the Buddhists have stumbled onto some truth. Humility becomes the crowning achievement. Humility achieved by seeing that there is nothing outside the self, and nothing within. We are made from the same stuff as rocks and trees, apes and insects. We all have the same Creator. Perhaps we need to take care of the things we have instad of worrying about what we don't? In order to become closer to God, we must see Him in every aspect of our lives so that he may be experienced in the fullest extent. So that He can walk with us in the Garden again. There can be no faith without practice and the experience of God.

Now, the implications of this is essentially we could all be like Jesus. Only Jesus did it perfectly, but since Jesus was human as well, it can be attained by humans. We see some of the apostles even doing some of the things Jesus did, so you don't need divine birth. Just faith, pure unabiding faith. I think that makes sense when Christianity is boiled down to where it came from, to follow in the footsteps of Christ. The first followers literally did that as Jesus set an example for them. To experience ultimate reality ourselves, we must live like Jesus. I think there is where Christianity can learn from Buddhism. Of course I hold that Buddhists can learn that Jesus is the true savior, an enlightened being like no other, but I might be biased. Buddhism centered around Jesus could be called Christianity.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Of Lions and Lambs?

This is the inaugural post of the blog, "Of Lions and Lambs". To explain the title, you may have heard in the saying "March comes in like a lion, and out like a lamb", which happens to be my birth month, and a month of great change. It is also a reference to Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men", which took it's title from Robert Burn's poem To a Mouse, often quoted as "The best-laid plans of mice and men/often go awry." It was a book trying to make sense of human nature. Lastly, the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God are both names for Jesus Christ, probably the most influential teacher in Western culture (whether or not you believe he was the Son of God). So in summary, this blog is about three things:

  • Personal Changes
  • Making sense of humanity (Psychology if you will)
  • Jesus Christ