Autumn Vignette

Two leaves entwined dance along a cobblestone path

caring not what stones their feet touch

or on what road they travel for

they are lost in the moment

in the fluid moment

that bridges that gaps of reality

that binds them here in bliss

even if for so brief a moment as this

The wind follows up at their heels

in silent syncopation keeping the beat

as more leaves join the parade

rousing others to join in chorus

in the rhythmic chorus

that coaxes them from their trees

that bids them gaily where to fall

every leaf just happy it's there at all

The clouds have funneled and heavens shake

the last storm to be seen for days

The leaves excited animate with life

as they know not what's the reason

the reason of the season

that steps into their hearts

that sends them along the street

not to shelter but to a melody

The tempo slows down to a crawl

the leaves they now begin to waltz

to the conductor's will they follow the lead

for its in their motion that they find rest

in the ceaseless rest

that calms their spirits' journey

that reminds them they were once alive

One and two and three, four, five...

Where's the maestro that directs the flow?

To where do all fallen leaves go?

It's a question not for leaves to know

to keep the spice of uncertainty

the story of uncertainty

that rejoices over requited love

that depicts the deepest sorrow

leaving the audience asking "Why?"

But is not a cloud a member of the sky?

though they themselves will fade, the sky remains

so move when moved, be still when stilled

press on through the unseen way

The divergent way

that only works to its good

that only works to its end

All leaves must move, none can stay

For every leaf has no hands

in which to hold onto this world

for they don't need them to dance

just their feet, just the music

the immaculate music

that guides their steps

that grounds them firmly

Freed from hands they soar by another's!

So when they let go of all they know

and all they have come to expect

they may just see through the tunnel

to the light that has not reached them yet

The glorious light

that sparkles off their eyes of Winter

that shines through the darkest tomb

that leaps off the tops of trees in rejoicing Spring

Words I Don't Like

Being a lover of language and word usage (as a word artist and technician), I love using words in new ways. However there are some words I dislike as well, and will try to stop using them. Here's a list:

Sinner
Evangelical (and words like it)
Secular
Theological words (Reformed, Calvinist, etc.)
Denominational words (Pentecostal, Anglican, Methodist, Baptist, etc.)
Evangelism
Christian
Homosexual
Heterosexual
Republican (including conservative, traditional, libertarian, etc.)
Democrat (Including liberal, progressive, etc.)
Race Words (Asian, Black, White, etc.)
Religious
Saved

The list goes on, but can you see a theme in these words? They are all labels.

The way we use words reflects the way we think about them, not the other way around. Take a race word for example "Asian". When you use this word you imply that there is a group of people completely separate from others unlike them. But to what kind of person do you actually refer? Someone with a certain culture, ethics, traits, upbringing, and mannerisms associated with a skin color. By this definition my race would be "White", but no one on first meeting me would ever say I was white. I would be Asian and have immediately associated to me the culture, values, and traits of being Asian regardless if I had them or not. I must live in the reality that people will always perceive me as that no matter what I may personally feel.

Let's take another word "Sinner". This word implies that this is a distinct person or group of people. Lets take another word "Christian". This also represents a group separate from other people. Is it surprising then that one could easily come to believe these two groups do not overlap? Let's take a third word "Homosexual". Does this word have a closer association to the word "Sinner" or the word "Christian". Why?

These words allow us to gather information about a person in a top down fashion. If you were asked to remember that Ralph is friendly, talkative, and effeminate among a list of 15 other people and personalities, you wouldn't do so well at remembering. However, if you were also told he is a hairdresser, you have no problem with those things. We all already have a mental image of what each of those three things are "Sinner, "Christian", and "Homosexual", and based on those mental schemata we can associate what is closely related to each other. The danger is this: we forget we are talking about people. An aggregate concept is dehumanizing and is easy to treat as such. The easier it is to put someone in a box, the easier it is to dismiss them entirely.

God's very first task for us was to NAME everything. We are good at giving names to things, at identifying, classifying, and organizing. We now use it to name each other. We know what people are: they are poor, homeless, gay, straight, religious, anarchist, republican, democrat, crazy, old, etc. Rarely do we know who people are. This only comes by a bottom up approach, you learn someone's passions and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, and you get 1 schema for who that person is. Sometimes though, we fall into the trap of going top down after going bottom up (Ralph is talkative and effeminate so he is a hairdresser, which means that he is also gay and friendly.) It's logically inconclusive to assume these things, yet we all do.

All these words I've listed before mean so much to so many people that they mean nothing at all. I refuse to use words that I do not understand:

Personal Anecdote: As I was leading a Bible study, Jill and I decided it was time to change they way we did it. As we brainstormed, I tried to articulate what my vision for it was, using terms like GIG (Group investigating God) and others that seemed to me to mean what I said. Jill just asked me, "Okay so, what does that look like? What is that?" I flustered with my words, and said "Well, you know... a GIG..." Not a very good definition. She then asked that we don't use words that we don't know so we have a clearer picture of what we are doing and communicating.

This is not to be confused with words whose very meanings themselves are so abstract that they require a word, although the word does them no justice (God, love, truth, etc.) These concepts transcend words, but can only be expressed by them (paradox).

Words and communication are of the utmost importance to the person whose utmost concern is spreading the Gospel. When we use words to dehumanize someone, that is what I see as "cursing" (wishing ill upon another). Who likes to be marginalized?

Do you ever wonder why God is referred to as the Word? Because the Word has power! It can destroy, it can heal, it can grow, it can purify, it can satisfy. Our Words do this as well, what we say to each other is of the utmost importance. Do not waste your time on idle banter.

Who sinned?

Why does this bother me so much?

Today while on the way to Best Buy with a fellow Christian, we passed a man with a sign at an intersection. There was a red light so we stopped a little ahead of him. His sign said:

"Everyone needs a little help sometimes."

"Everyone needs a little help sometimes..." my friend repeated, "And I have no money."

"Well I have a tray full of change? Maybe...?"

"No, that's pittance. He doesn't need our pity." my friend cut me off.

"Well, maybe we could bring him with us to lunch?" I replied.

"Yea we could do that..."

We both sat there, knowing what would be the right thing to do, and I am sure both contemplating the implications of what such an action would mean and the inconvenience caused. Those 10 seconds until the green light hit were filled with moral tension. Our silence said everything as we turned the corner.

On our way back, we saw him again, only this time with two police cars accompanying him. It seemed that he was begging illegally or that they didn't want him there to be seen. Whatever the case, he was being dislocated or arrested.

It's not often a person gets to see the consequences of their action, but when you do, keep it with you as a reminder. Everyone passed this man by, but why does the burden lay on me?


John 9:49: Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

The Ugly Door

There once was a man, who upon dying, found himself at the end of a long hallway. Meeting him was an angel, but good or bad he could not tell. Unsure of what to do and frightened, he ventured down a little further until he came to a door. Not just any door, but the most repulsive door he had ever laid eyes on. It reeked of death, so much so that his eyes watered and the man began to vomit. He ran back the other way, doing anything to escape that door as quick as possible for he never wanted to see such a terrifying thing again.

He ran into the angel yet again, and asked him "What is behind that awful door there?", his adrenaline overcoming his fear. The angel replied, "That door is the quickest way to see Jesus."

The man's heart sank. He wanted to see Jesus more than anything, but could not believe Jesus would reside behind such a door. Nonetheless, he gathered up his courage and reached for the door. He held his breath, closed his eyes, and ran in.

Upon opening them, he was in the whitest of rooms. The room was empty if not for a single chair. "This must be the waiting room to see Jesus" he thought, so he took a seat.

Immediately the room whirled around him. Images and pictures of horrible and unimaginable things surged around him. Murders, rapes, genocides, injustice, and suffering of his family and all his children, all of which were the result of things he had done in life. He tried to close his eyes, but the images persisted a seared his mind. "Make them stop!" he cried, but they only got worse. He fell flat on his face, weeping over the sorrow in the world, weeping for children, weeping for women he did not even know, but more than than weeping for himself. Overwhelmed until not an ounce of him wanted to live or even exist, he lay broken and beaten down. "No more... no more... This pain I cannot bear!" he whimpered.

"And no more must you endure for my sake. Now that you know the pain of my Father, your sins are forgiven." Jesus lifted him up. "My Lord!" exclaimed the man, now full of the Spirit, "Now I know just how far you came for me! Forever will I sing your praise! Forever will I praise your Name, the Lord most gracious and merciful! For now I know my debt, and now I can know forgiveness!"

With that, he left through the same door in which he came. Turning back to see the door one last time, he saw the most beautiful and ornate door he had ever laid eyes on. The door looked exactly the same as when he first saw it, but now his eyes were opened and filled with light. The angel turned and smiled at him, saying, "May I add one more pinch of humility?" The man, feeling so invigorated with life after going through what he just did, nodded. The angel motioned to his feet, "You stepped in something."

The King of the Closet

A man wrestles in an empty room
fighting back his impending doom
for in the room there is a closet
Alone he struggles in a fight to lock it

Behind that door lies vicious things
monsters and demons with claws and wings
his hands are pushed against the paint
as tooth and nail lash on his face

blood and sweat drip from his brow
But a voice beckons to him now
A man appears in purest white
standing across the room but out of sight

"Let it go and take my hand
Why do you suffer? On what do you stand?"
The man responds in frightful cry
"You're too far away! I'll surely die!"

"Let it go and take my hand
Take this passage to the promised land"
The man sends back a panting groan
"I'll never make it! I'll never get home!"

On and on the battle waged
What was minutes carried on like days
The man pleaded for the other's life
For the man and his closet locked in strife

Until at last the man collapsed
resigned to his fate he took one last grasp
His hand fell on Jesus so He took his hand
and lifted him to to stand man to man

He stood right behind him the entire time
but his fears changed the sight of his mind
The monster's in his closet weren't monsters at all
What seemed so big now seemed so small

This is the moral of the story
That broken things will return to glory
In learning to die in self reflection
this is the cycle of Resurrection

This is a story of grace and truth
And the time it takes to heal all wounds
In Christ the pain will be transformed
to make light of darkness and be reborn