In our Defenses

Back in college, I wrote a research paper proposing that there were two types of Self-Esteem, implicit and explicit. This isn't a new idea, but I wanted to expound on it. There have been arguments that having a lot of self esteem is a good thing, but also arguments that it is a bad thing as well. My paper was a resolution to this debate. It had 4 archetypes of people in it, varying my their intersections of implicit and explicit self esteem. I proposed we had Low Implicit Self Esteem (LISE) and High Implicit Self Esteem people (HISE) as well as Low Explicit Self Esteem (LESE) and High Explicit Self Esteem (HESE) people. Here are my descriptions of what each type might look like:

• LISE/LESE: These people would be your "downers". They don't have very much value in themselves and more often than not let themselves get pushed around. They tend to be people pleasers as well, in hopes of gaining recognition and feelings of worth through service. Easily abused, they seem to just take insults like a sponge.
• LISE/HESE: Because of their low implicit self worth, they try to mask it with a High Explicit Self Esteem. These are very dangerous folks, as they are like eggs filled with nitroglycerin. They constantly pick fights with other people stronger than they, are very jealous in relationships, and cannot let the tiniest of insults go without making a ruckus over it. Anything that challenges their explicit self esteem generates a huge amount of "Ego threat". To are so stalwart in defending because if anything gets through their shell, their soft insecurity ridden center will be exposed. They have a lot to lose if their self-esteem is compromised. The classic "Tough guy" act.
• HISE/HESE: They generally always feel very good about themselves, but do come off as smug, cocky, and arrogant, but they don't care what you think of them. Probably very used to being treated like royalty because of who they are, they let their accomplishments get to their head. They are able to control their tempers a lot more than the previous type, as really they already know they are all that and a bag of chips. Will fight if you need to be put in your place, but it's no big deal if they lose as they will usually have a smug comeback. The high amount of pride allows them to shrug off most insults.
• HISE/LESE: This is a very interesting type of person. They really aren't provoked to anger about anything concerning their own integrity and anything negative said to them they would probably agree with and laugh along. However they will defend another person's dignity. They have an air of calmness and humility around them. They really don't have anything to prove to anyone. Think Ghandi or Jesus here.

I mentioned "Ego Threat" before. Let me expound: Ego threat is the amount of perceived harm from incoming negative actions. Ego in general applies more to the Explicit self esteem system. A LISE/LESE would experience little to no ego threat because they simple have no "ego" to lose. the LISE/HESE in converse would experience very high amounts of Ego Threat, because the difference between their two esteems is rather large, thus they have a lot more to lose (i.e. it is all they have going for them). HISE/HESE would be more like the LISE/LESE, but slightly more because they can be provoked given a sufficient challenge to their authority. They do show more resiliency towards insults. The HISE/LESE would experience no ego threat as well, but have more positive regard afterwards than the LISE/LESE who is more prone to sulking and brooding in their dejectedness.

The Explicit Self esteem system mainly is fueled by competition. By being better at something than someone, they gain explicit self-esteem. Examples include academics, fighting, business, beauty, faith (the "Who's a better Christian" contests are quite ironic), etc. If you can compete in it, you can gain explicit self esteem.

Implicit self esteem is fueled by something different, innate knowledge and acceptance of who one is. It's who one identifies to be and a full embrace of who that is. Both negative and positive are taken together to form the whole of a person. Needless to say, Implicit self esteem is harder to gain, but even harder to lose. Some notable sources of Implicit Self Esteem have been noted as Virtue (being a good or moral person) and interestingly enough, God's love.

I'm beginning to see that perhaps there is a bigger expansion of this theory into all areas in which one can feel esteem. The most pertinent to me is Faith. This is taken from Donald Miller's Blog (http://donmilleris.com/2010/01/13/1513/):

I’ve also found that the more I trust in Christ’s redemption to be sufficient, the less overtly religious I am. And, quite honestly, the more suspect overtly religious people become to me. When I’m with somebody who talks zealously about faith, about Jesus, about the Bible, after a while, I find myself wondering whether or not their faith is strong at all. For instance, if I were with somebody who kept talking about how much they loved their wife, going on loudly and profusely, intuitively I would wonder whether or not they were struggling in their marriage. I would wonder whether they were trying to convince me they loved their wife, or if they were trying to convince themselves. (Now that I think of it, though, some of my favorite people talk about how much they love their wives, but these are less public proclamations and more sighs of appreciation.) Faith in Christ, for me, is similar. It’s intimate. I’m more comfortable giving quiet prayers, intimate prayers. Often alone, in fact. I speak of faith the way I speak of personal matters. Of course there is a time for proclamations, but that’s the key, isn’t it? There’s a time. Anyway, I love that the New Testament is mostly intimate letters written to small groups of people who met in homes. I like the quiet authenticity of our faith.

Do you see what process he is describing? It's the difference between a LISE/HESE Christian and a HISE/LESE Christian. What I mean to say is this: one of the clearest signs that someone is not firm in their faith is their defensiveness. Those who aren't firm in their faith will often erupt in backlash to anyone who criticizes it. There is no "Quiet Authenticity" which Donald speaks about, rather zealous defense of a religion that if true, should need no defense. There is a process of maturity that happens as the beliefs are made more solid. There is no longer a need to constantly justify why you believe what you believe at every joke or criticism, not because of a loss in faith but because of a loss in religious pride.

There I said it, religion and it's practice can make you prideful. Being able to hold the position of "salvation" can carry with it an attitude of "I have better beliefs than you". It makes one seem privileged and can easily be lorded over people. You've heard it before from Christians, I'm sure. They brag about how good God is at every chance they get, inserting Him into everything in some sort of twisted evangelism. They brag about how good it feels to be saved, and express pity on those who are not like they. They are doing the Lord's work in their own eyes, and are above reproach because of it. Scripture affirms them and their actions, and not the other way around. They are better Christians, period. How do I know so much to be making these strong accusations? Well, I was one of them.

I was a foolish child who let his mouth run ahead of him. My brother's and sisters will attest this is usually what I've always done. I was given Scripture not knowing how powerful it was, and I used it irresponsibly. Children should not wield swords. I nearly cut off all my good friends mishandling God's word or at least left them mutilated. I still regret every word I said and every wound I inflicted. Even if God forgives me, I have a hard time forgiving myself. I would beg new Christians not to speak about Scripture until they are ready to do so responsibly and be accountable to every word they say. Let Scripture speak for itself, invite others to partake in reading it with you. Tell others what you have been getting out of it, and that's it. Be honest, not overbearing. Be loving, not obnoxious.

I've since settled in my beliefs. I know who I am and who I am is in transition to who I was made to be. I still say dumb things and I still am prideful, but at least now I can recognize them where I was once blind. I've been humbled, not by my own effort, but by being made known of my pride. This is your psychology tidbit for the evening: One of the clearest signs that someone is not firm in their faith is their defensiveness.