Sunday, February 28, 2010

Dreams and the Imagination of God

I have this one recurring theme in my dreams, and have been having it for a while.

I am behind the wheel, but my dream is not specific on where I am going. I'm cruising along, but suddenly I need to brake to avoid an obstacle (what this obstacle is varies on the dream), but no matter how early I brake or how hard I press down, I do not slow. I never stop in time.

Usually dreams don't mean a thing, just a collective mishmash of the day's conscious experience left unprocessed. The dreams which usually mean something either have nothing to do with the day's events, or recur constantly.

If I had to guess what it meant, it's about the fear of losing control, of being helpless beyond my limits. When I was younger was the first time I had this dream, and that fear of losing control had very real effects in my daily non-dream life. This was before I knew how to drive, obviously. Part of the reason I didn't get my license until really late is because I had a fear of driving due to my dream.

I never told anyone this of course, I'd get the whole "John, That's completely irrational" line. Yea I get it, it doesn't make sense to be afraid because of my imagination, but it doesn't make the effects any less real for me. Never underestimate the power of the mind's imagination.

I lived a lot of my life in fear and disappointment because of my imagination. I would imagine the perfect scenario or relationship in my head, and when it fell short (which it always did) I would be upset or angry because it is not what I expected. Conversely, I lived in fear because my mind would imagine terrible things happening to either myself or people around me. A beam falling and crushing someone, a random drive by shooting, and car accidents could happen at any moment for me because I would see them happening in my head so I would be prepared. The world in which I lived I saw to be chaotic. Death was around every corner. Why? I imagined it to be and so it was.

Human beings have the remarkable capability to shape their own reality. No two people hold the same reality, but the degree in which we are constrained to our own individual realities affects the quality of our lives. That said, than freedom is this: The ability to step out of your own created reality and step into "True Reality". What do I mean by True Reality? That reality which, if true, is true to the experience of all people regardless of how they perceive it.

If this then is what True Reality is, it is impossible to find. All experience is always already interpreted experience. Nothing is free from the taint our perspective brings. For example, take Barack Obama: Some see a President, some see a Black Man, some see a White Man, some see a Rival, some see a Compatriot, and others still a Father, Son, or Husband. They have all experienced THAT which Obama is, but all differ to WHAT he is. So you see, all of our Subjective Reality is based on a larger Objective reality, but sadly we can only go so far as discovering Objective Reality through the collective Subjective Realities. What science touts as "Objectivity" is only at best "Inter-Subjectivity".

So if all we know is Subjective Reality, then all of our perceived reality is based on a Larger reality we cannot see or experience. Just then what is the nature of such Objective Reality in which all our Reality is based? If we borrow Paul Tillich's idea that God is "The ground of all being", then "God" (I've put God in quotation marks because I am merely talking about the concept, not the Person) fits the bill as that reality which all other reality is based, Objective Reality or "True Reality". But why then do not all people experience "God"?

They do, but what they call "God" or even how they see "God" varies greatly. Again, "God" is to some a Savior, to others a Judge, and other's still a false hypothesis. The great flaw in subjective reality is that no one who remains in it will ever see or experience "God". "God" has infinite access into every Subjective Reality, for every Reality is based off of "God", but no Subjective Reality has access to "God" except through what "God" makes known to them.

How does that which is Objective communicate with those who are Subjective? This is imagination at work. I mentioned at the very beginning that just because I had imagined something did not nullify the realness of it's effects. The phrase which drew me into faith is this: "If you want proof that God exists, live like He does." Preposterous nonsense, or so I thought. I did it anyway because I was a "scientist" and had nothing to lose. Why not test a hypothesis? Instead of using my imagination for fear and disappointment, I focused it into imagining God. I kept watching and waiting for "God" to happen, ever attentive because I didn't want to miss it if it did. Despite my doubts, and after many "Was that You, God?"s, God did happen.
Strange how when you leave an opening, it tends to get filled. A window was opened on my end in which Objective Reality could enter in, and I was instantly removed from my Subjective bubble and connected to the world through that which Connects all things. To use a technical metaphor, I turned on my modem and was connected.

Not all imagination is bad imagination. Unlike my previous imaginations in which I had to continually tell myself "No, that's not real and won't happen", this one required a different faith. Instead I'm faced with this "imagination" of God, and must convince myself daily of His being Real. Again you may give me the "John, that is irrational" line. I admit it is, but like I said before, just because I imagined it, doesn't make it's effects any less real for me. I enjoy large benefits from my "imagination" that are not simply "pretend". As long as God remains real to me, then He will continue to be real.

Disclaimer: The following section contains Christian content and application and should not be viewed if you only wanted to read about philosophy. Scroll down to the second set of italics if you want to read on.

However, my imagination has a limit. I cannot imagine for other people. Therefore I cannot share this "God" I found with anyone else, and they would just have to take my word that "God" exists until they themselves begin the process of Imagining. How will they believe me when I tell them? Like I said, they will see the effects of my imagination in my life.

Example: A friend tells you he has a diamond ring in his pocket and is about to propose. When you ask him to see the ring, he refuses, saying "It is for his girl to see first". How do you know he is telling the truth? There are a few questions you could ask: Does he look nervous? Does he keep looking at his watch? Is he dressed nicely? Indeed, you merely only have to see the effects to deduce that his proposing is a reality.
That's the funniest thing about Christian evangelism today: It doesn't work. Simply telling someone that you believe in "God" is no evidence in and of itself, but rather living as if "God" was real is all the "evangelism" you need to get people asking questions. No one is a witness nowadays, everyone just talks about their imaginations every chance they get and try to convince each other what they imagine is better than another's. Questions like "How do I steer a conversation towards the Lord?" are completely unhelpful and covey a sense of insincerity in conversation. You aren't listening to the other person so much as waiting to pounce on them if they say anything remotely religious. Spiritual headhunting I'd call it.

When I think about "the woman at the well" as described in John 4, her witness was a very doubt filled question "Come, see a man who has told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ?" (John 4:29 NIV) She didn't even believe for herself first before telling others about the effect that meeting this man had on her! Her witness came out of doubt but hope that it was real, which is where I believe the most effective witness comes from. Something about what she did got an entire town to come and see for themselves, and I doubt it was her words alone, but the curiosity that they brought and the uncharacteristic nature of her actions (we could do a character study on her, but that would be another post). It was then that the whole town said "We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves." (John 4:42 NIV).

If I should ever down the road decide that "God is not real", it would be impossible me to forget "God" and would take faith for me to convince myself that "God is not real, stop thinking He is." Either way is faith, so why not take the faith the gives me the benefits? It's very pragmatic, I know, but it's the only thing I have to go on some days. I am glad I keep going because I remember what it was like to not have my imagination used in a positive way. It is as Peter said, "To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" (John 6:68 NIV) This is not to say I am not free, as I am free to leave if I want, but I choose to remain.

This concludes the Christian segment.

If you were to ask me "Why believe in God?" I would simply reply "Why Not?" Even if all "God" was was a way to train the imagination to have a healthy and balanced world view, is that not reason in itself to say "God" is a healthy part of any relationship? The thing that "God" is so much more than I ever thought it would be and all because of my wild imagination. There is just something about expecting and waiting for something to happen that makes it all the more likely you'll see it come to pass. Call it wish fulfillment or divine providence or what have you, but the truth remains, "If you want proof that God exists, live like He does."

Now of course that begs the ever popular question of this age: Which "God" is the right God?