"The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Genesis 2:18
What a better way to start with ancient relationship advice than with the first couple, Adam and Eve.
It is interesting to start with the fact that Adam was not alone, technically speaking. He had all the birds of the air, the fish of the sea, and all the beasts of the field to rule over and perhaps more importantly, the unmediated and unadulterated presence of God with him in the Garden. Should not God be more than enough for Adam? God doesn't think so.
But what this doesn't mean is that every man needs to be married for "it is not good for him to be alone". Adam's situation is unlike any others; He is not alone because he has no wife, but because there is no other human being on the planet. There is no one like him in all the Earth and this is what God realizes when he deems Adam "alone". Whether or not Adam ever felt loneliness in the garden, we do not know, however in God's foresight and wisdom he circumvents any loneliness that might be had by Adam.
We see for the first time in the creation account that God calls something lo tov, not good. Dry land? Good. Vegetation? Good. Sun, moon, and stars? Good. Fish and birds? Good. Land animals? Good. Man and woman + everything else? Very Good. Man alone? Not good. Why is this so?
Mary Shelley in the novel "Frankenstein" might have an answer. The real monster in her book is not the creation, but the creator Victor Frankenstein, who made only one unique creation and abandons him. The monster is not even given a name and thus robbed of an identity. The monster at one point refers to himself as "the Adam of your labors" and is intelligent and compassionate but rejected for his appearance. Lonely due to his rejection and his finding that no one else is like him, he demands that Dr. Frankenstein make him a female counterpart because it is his right as a living being to be happy. Frankenstein starts the new gruesome project but abandons it, dooming the monster to a life of bitter loneliness, upon which he takes revenge by murdering Frankenstein's own wife. The monster's sole purpose for living now is vengeance for the betrayal of his creator, certainly not a path God would have Adam walk.
Curiously in both Genesis and Shelley's novel, what is made is not another Adam, but a "helper suitable for him." God could have easily decided to go with another Adam to tend the garden to help the first if he simply thought it was too much work for one person to handle. But the עֵ֖זֶר כְּנֶגְדּֽוֹ he decided to make is both similar and radically different than the first. The phrase "helper suitable for him" in Hebrew is more of a helper that is his counterpart, his opposite and complement. This helper is now called "woman", but what exactly does she help Adam do?
Genesis 1:28 contains a blessing that may give us insight, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Two things Eve helps Adam with, first, being fruitful and secondly ruling over the earth and subduing it. Interestingly, these are both things God could have done himself. Where he made one man out of the dust of the earth, he could have made 1,000,000 to fill it. Where God gave the right to rule to man and woman, he could have easily ruled it Himself. Actually, He does do these things through His image in the Earth, namely man and woman.
A God is inhabits a place in the physical realm only through his image and mankind is that establishment of God's presence in His creation. Eve acknowledges that it is God working through her body and the union with her husband that bears her children. (Gen 4:1 "With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man.") Thus God helps her to do that which she was meant to do (of course Adam helped her to "fill the earth" as well, but his role is downplayed here.) She realizes intuitively that life does not come out of nowhere. Even with the understanding we have today that a sperm and an egg create a zygote, we still have no idea why that process should make something that is alive other than that God wills it to do so. God fills the earth through Adam and Eve. God subdues it and rules over it through Adam and Eve for they are his image in the world. It is only with this understanding of the nature of Adam and Eve's relationship that we can develop foundational knowledge for how relationships should work today. Ultimately, Eve's purpose is to help Adam to be an image of God in the world so that together God might work through them to accomplish His purposes for them and His will in the world.
They are of one flesh, one purpose, and animated by the same Spirit. A woman's purpose is to help her man do what God has called him to do, to be a partner with him in ministry. The very nature of a marriage relationship is to minister together in a complementary way. Where one is weak, the other is strong so that as a unit they share only the strengths and none of the weaknesses in ministry.
As a side note, when I say complementary, I do not mean to imply Complementarian in its strictest form. Nor do I hold to Egalitarian views. Men and women are not the same, they are complementary as God has made them that way. However, they are similar enough that Adam, upon seeing Eve, exclaims that she is "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh", instantly recognizing her as one like himself. Both show the image of God and are equal partners in "filling the earth and subduing it", but take complementary roles in doing so. I do believe women can teach and preach and that men can run a children's ministry if that is their gifting, but the emphasis is that men and women together are complementing each other as they minister together. I am not so certain that the Holy Spirit discriminates with his giftings. Also, men are not meant to rule over women. This is a result of the fall and indicates that it was not this way from the beginning. If it were not so, God may as well have said "Because of this the sky will be blue and fish will swim in the sea." Men and women are of equal standing but complementary roles. There are naturally some things men are better at and some things women are better at, but when we are dealing with gifts given by the Spirit, one's gender need not apply for it is God doing the work (e.g. men are not naturally better at prophesying than women or vice-versa as God chooses whom He wills to prophesy).
As a son of Adam or daughter of Eve, the lesson here is to find a spouse who complements your calling. If one is called to be a missionary in Libya but you know your calling to be one as a pastor in LA, it probably won't work out. If you are a gifted theologian and your wife is a brilliant preacher, you have found a good complementary partner. Other examples might include: You play an instrument and your spouse has a beautiful voice, you have a passion for teenagers and your spouse teaches in a high school, etc. Oftentimes, God puts a man and a woman together for the sole purpose that they might have many opportunities to minister together because it is God who uses his image to minister to the world.
Taken from another angle, Adam and Eve were meant to fill the Earth by procreation and in doing so fill the Earth with God's glory, which dwells in his image. However after the fall, this original blessing turned into a curse as Adam and Eve's offspring no longer were clothed with God's glory but with wickedness and unrighteousness so that the whole Earth was filled with wickedness (Gen 6:5) that it eventually had to be flooded save for Noah and his family. Even Adam and Eve who were once clothed with God's glory and felt no shame exchanged it for fig leaves and animal skins.
With the redemption of the image of man by Jesus Christ, all those who are in Him could once again fill the world with God's glory through the bearing of children, although not physical. A Christian family, as hard as they try, cannot guarantee theirs kids will grow up in Christ as they must make their own decision to follow. However, once they do, they are baptized and "born again" as spiritual children dead to sin but alive to Christ. What's more is that this producing of "children" can be done not only by married couples, but by single people as well, and arguably more effectively. Listen to what Paul says to the Corinthians:
"14 I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. 15 Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 16 Therefore I urge you to imitate me. 17 For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church." (1 Cor 4:14-17 italics mine)
But married couples today still have the call to bear children who reflect God's glory and are being transformed into his image. Their ministry is to their own children and to those around them as well. Even if you do not serve in an official ministry position, if you are married with kids your ministry is to your family and you need a spouse who can adequately help you raise spiritual children both inside and outside of the home. A man and a woman are always a team and must learn how to work together to accomplish God's purposes for them and God's will in the world.
