Theirs is the Kingdom

I met a woman outside of subway today asking for a dollar. I asked if I could buy her something, and she told me up front she actually wanted it for a cigarette. After getting my sandwich, I thought I would give it to her but say "I don't want you to use it for smoking." I think then the Spirit told me "She doesn't need that shit right now. She just wants a cigarette, not a sermon. She gets enough scorn and criticism on her lifestyle without your help." And then I gave her a dollar and joked around with her and shook her hand. Her hands were warm and soft, and mine were a bit cold and calloused. I don't think a dollar was enough for what she gave me.

What is offensive to God?

Ok, so a disclaimer: This post uses "profanity" I guess it's rated PG.

This has been on my mind for a little bit now. I really don't know what I want to write, so I'm just going to start writing down my thoughts to distract myself. My heart feels heavy, and I don't know why. I do find that I write better when I am tired, and when I am tired I am more easily depressed. Well maybe not better, but my thoughts become more fluid. If you have ever talked to me when I'm tired, you know I ramble on and on going from point to point. This is that but in written form. I have a weird ability to extrovert my introverted thinking, so you hear my inner thought process with myself. Ok, let's start writing now (I mean on the topic).

So what is offensive to God? Maybe we should start with what is not. Certainly nothing God created is offensive to him. Rats, roaches, saliva, bacteria, blood, sweat, urine, seminal fluid, fecal matter, and sex all fall into that category. Actually, all of existence falls into this category. Dr. Schutz said something in class on Monday that I myself have often wondered about. If Jesus was a human man, then he had hormones human males have. He experienced puberty, and all the awkwardness associated with it, yet remained without sin. Nobody likes to think of Jesus going to the bathroom, yet he must have (else I doubt he was human). Why then, if God is not offended by these things, do they offend us so much? Generally when something pure and Holy like God becomes comes down to the level of man and dies on a cross, we would call that defamation, desecration, and profanation, yet it wasn't. On the contrary, it was the most beautiful thing to have ever happened on Earth.

Dr. Polischuk, my counseling professor, gave me a thought provoking image. He asked, "Who here swallows their own saliva?" Naturally, we all raised our hands. He followed with this, "So if I asked you to spit in a cup and ten minutes later told you to drink your own saliva, would you do it?" You really could see everyone's stomachs turn at the thought. Even the thought of seeing someone's naked body can be repulsive. There are things that are not appropriate dinner conversation because they make us lose our appetite. It is apparent to me that in culture, certain things are taboo to talk about. Revelation of the century, I know, but honestly there is a primal fear that drives societal norms.

I've made a promise to myself not to live in fear after God freed me from my anxieties. The day I realized that the main reason I didn't do certain things or pursue certain goals was because I had anxiety of rejection and failure. I don't know about you guys, but when you are not able to CHOOSE an alternative option because of a condition that is inflicted upon you, that is slavery. E.g. I can't go to the movies because I am in prison or I can't go outside because I am afraid of trees. Here's a more common example, "I can't tell people about my masturbation habit, they will judge me." I believe that is the most common fear among human beings, the fear of being judged.

This reminds me of something my Pastor at ECIC said during his sermon on Sunday (paraphrased a bit), "Isn't that what the first three months of dating is? It's lying to each other for as long as you can so they don't find out how bad you actually are. I had a friend in college who you could tell when he had a date because his room would never be so clean. I was like, 'Hello? Is this the same guy?' That's why you shouldn't rush into marriage, or else you'll find yourself rushing right out!" I think we are all liars. Every single second we are lying because we cannot be our true selves out of fear. Often times it's offensive to be your true self.

Personal Anecdote: I used to swear a lot. You may not think so, but if you knew me in the past, you would know what I mean. It's probably why a lot of people thought I would be the least likely of people to become faithful. I girl I knew in High School even told me that my one flaw was that I swore too much. I was not afraid to be offensive, as my college friends can attest. There was a saying about me "If there is a line any where, I would be the first to cross it. If there was ever a question "Did he just go there?" the answer is "Yes, he went there."" I was the king of taking it too far for the sake of a joke. When I became a Christian, a lot of people wondered what happened to me. I used to be... fun. I became uppity and self righteous. If I was held to a standard, I wanted everyone around me to be held to that standard. Needless to say I pushed away a lot of my friends, and hurt a lot more. I regret it even now, and it still hurts. Why? I didn't think the way I was was good enough to be a Christian. I felt I had to change because I wouldn't be accepted as I am. It was a false assumption. "Come all you empty handed, you don't need anything"

Okay, remembering how much of a jerk I was didn't help my mood any, but I will press on. I wish I felt free to swear at Seminary. I wish I felt free to swear among my Christian friends. You know how I know I wish these things? I don't like people who swear, especially Christians. I hate it because I secretly desire to do it but I am too much of a coward. Sometimes I just want to use the word ass. No I don't want to say butt, I want to say ass because "This song kicks ass!" conveys the feeling I want, as opposed to "This song kicks butt!" Everything has a connotation and a denotation. While the two phrases are the same in denotation (definition) they differ in connotation (implied emotion/ cultural subtext). How a language can be offensive I never understood. Why is ass offensive and not butt? Language is a complicated beast, and evolves over time (yes, I believe in evolution...)

Take the word "n*gger" (actually I never understood censoring words either, you still know what it says). This used to be a common place word pre-civil rights movement but is now offensive when used by anyone who isn't Black because of the history of oppression associated with it. Actually that is another term that is sensitive, "Black". I am comfortable calling people Black because I have no other term from someone who is African/Afro-Carribean in descent, but whose family has been in the US longer than many European families. However, there is a connotation of it that can be offensive, e.g. "She's so BLACK" as opposed to "I know Black people."

All this to say that I don't know how words can be "Curse words" if their meanings are the product of socio-cultural context and are fluid and transient. I feel like the sentiment is "Christians shouldn't swear" because of James 3:10 "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." I don't believe words like "ass" or "motherfucker" are "curses". Hell, I have a friend whose way of wishing me a happy Birthday is to leave me a voice mail saying "Happy Birthday, motherfucker!" Is he wishing me ill or harm (aka "cursing" me)? I think it's hilarious actually. These words are so mainstream that they lost their meaning of old. If someone where to flip me off, I'd probably laugh that people still do that. What gives that gesture any meaning other than our minds? How can things that have negative connotations in our minds be offensive to God?

Biblical Anecdote (Mark 14:61-64): Again the high priest asked him, “Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?”

62 “I am,” said Jesus. “And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.”
63 The high priest tore his clothes. “Why do we need any more witnesses?” he asked.

64 “You have heard the blasphemy. What do you think?”
They all condemned him as worthy of death.

You would think for a people who have been looking for their Messiah for thousands of years, they would want to investigate fully any claim someone made to be the Christ. Finding the Christ is supposed to be one of the most joyous moments in the history of the Jews, yet we see instead the high priest tearing his clothes. That means nothing to us, but to the Jewish culture, tearing your clothes was a gesture of extreme disgust. However, the high priests tearing of his clothes is even more significant than that. The high priest is never allowed to show signs of mourning, which included the tearing of clothing or having hair that was disheveled or uncovered. He went so far as to break Jewish law because he found Jesus's "blasphemy" so offensive.

This is my point: Sometimes we don't see how we are being offensive to God when we find others are offensive to us. It was not Jesus who was in the wrong for expressing who he is, rather it was his judge who condemned him who actually broke the law. How I wish being among Christian brothers and sisters automatically meant that you are free from being judged and condemned no matter what you say or do! Wouldn't I swear more if I weren't afraid that I would be deemed unacceptable? I feel trapped to the label of what a "good Christian" is. I believe there is no such thing. We should feel free to "come as we are", and then choose to be other wise. That is what freedom is. It's the ability to be who you really are, and CHOOSE to be otherwise. God accepted me for who I am, and loved me anyway. Isn't that one of the greatest gifts ever? Why don't we show this to others? Can I be accepted into the Christian Social group despite the fact that I curse?

Throughout my Christian experience, I've learned that Christians come in all shapes and sizes. From gang members to Southern gentry, there's just no stereotyping what a Christian looks like. People who have other wise no shared interests share one powerful common belief and can praise together in the same room. Some of my friends now I probably wouldn't have been friends with if not for Christ. Sometimes I think to myself, "There is no way that person can be a Christian. They don't look like one!" and then I end up talking to one of the most insightful Christians I've ever met and kicking myself for judging them. There simply is no room to judge someone's faith based on their appearance.

On a side note, I must say I hate it when a Christian comes up to me and says, "Do you know Jesus?" or tries to hand me some piece of paper with a "turn or burn" message on it. I hate it when people assume things about me.

Fresno Anecdote: Phil and Rici Skei are not your average neighbors. They are relocators, which basically means that they moved from the suburbs into a high crime high poverty neighborhood in Fresno. Occasionally, charitable Christians would stop by their door with groceries. They have good intentions, but they leave a bitter feeling in Phil and Rici's mouth. It sucks that people assume you can't provide for your family because of where you live so you get handouts. It's not only insulting, but demoralizing to the people who can't actually provide for their families, serving as a reminder of their ineptitude. Christians who do this get to walk away with the good feeling that "They loved their neighbor." Like Phil says, "How can you love your neighbor if you don't even know who they are? Do you love someone how you want to love them at your convenience, or how they want to be loved?" Nevertheless, these Christians come back religiously with their hands full of groceries.

That's the problem when I write from the top of my head, I never stay on topic. It also seems to be 3 hours later and I'm only now getting to my original question: What is offensive to God?

Anything that breaks his one commandment to us: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -Matthew 22:37-40

This is what cursing is: To reject your brothers and sisters and in doing to denying them your love. This is the very act of wishing them harm. We curse more often than we think. Any time we make jokes at someone else's expense, we reject Jesus. It may be in good fun, or in sarcasm or just playing around, but when revealed for what it truly is, it is a denial that that person was made in the image of God. Humor is just a socially acceptable, sophisticated defense mechanism. If you are laughing, it doesn't hurt. Now I believe God has a sense of humor, but he doesn't laugh at the same things we laugh at. Like a parent taking delight in their child's silliness, I can see Jesus smiling upon us. But like a parent looking upon their child hurting other children in their immaturity, he is hurt. When we are children, we do the things children do, but we cannot remain children forever. There comes a time when God expects us to mature, to become who we are without restrictions. Until then, God gives us the grace to grow, to make mistakes, and to learn.

I want to see a community that lives under grace, and not under the law. If we were under the law, our path leads to death. The law is easy to teach; you do this, than this happens. Grace is harder. As one who lives under grace, all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. Your sins hold no consequence to you anymore, so why live like they do? Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting! Shall we rejoice because we are not condemned? I think someone can live their life trying not to sin, but I regard such activity as folly. You will never stop sinning, and one sin is a great as 50 sins in terms of consequence. That is life under the law, trying to make sure you do everything right so you do not offend God. My friend, you are already offensive to God. In grace, the only consequence is regret for not serving the kingdom better. One consequence under grace is that we miss out on the benefits we could've otherwise had. For example, the consequences of not going to the gym are that you do not get the benefits of exercise. If we do not live for Christ (i.e. denying ourselves, taking up our cross, sacrificing everything else we could be doing (i.e. everything) in favor of things that promote his Kingdom, etc.) the consequence is that people will not know about the love of Jesus Christ, and the freedom they now have to become who they actually are without fear of judgment!

The other consequence under grace is this: we become a stumbling block to someone's faith in the Gospel. The way Paul writes about what actions he should take are all determined by one thing : Does it win someone fro Christ? Paul would say that there is nothing wrong with drinking, however if it would cause my brother to stumble, than I will not do it. It's like smoking in front of someone fighting an addiction. Paul himself doesn't have a drinking problem, but he will refrain if it will help his brother overcome it. Paul was truly a free man, living under grace. When trying to decide whether you should do something or not, I think the wrong question to ask is "Is it a sin?" but rather ask yourself, "Will this hinder someone's acceptance of the Gospel? Will it cause them to stray?" Paul acknowledges that there are already many stumbling blocks for new believers and that we should try our best not to add more.

This is Christ's prayer for us in John 17 "I pray for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in You. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me... I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." Jesus prayed for us! He had us in mind during the time he spent alive. Amazing! You see what this says: Through our unity and love for each other, Christ will prove his deity so that the world would believe in Him! This couples in conjunction with the great commission "to make disciples of all nations." Jesus tells us how to do it, and Jesus gives us a definition of how to love through the Holy Spirit in Paul "Love is patient. Love is kind..."(1 Corinthians 13). Read that passage and insert Jesus wherever you see love. Read it again and insert your own name. Does it still make sense? (John is patient. John is kind. John does not envy. John does not boast. John is not proud...) I can tell you right now not all of those things are true (if any at all), so obviously I need to work on what it means to love. It's not a passage on the romanticized ideal of love, its a practical guide.

Who is going to believe in Jesus if we actually do outlaw gay marriage and marginalize the GLBT community? Who is going to turn to the gospel if we get abortions outlawed? Who is going to say "Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior!" if we continue to ignore the plight of immigrants or the poverty in our own cities? The last thing anyone needs is another person telling them they are living their lives wrong and the need a savior. That doesn't sound like good news to me, and it doesn't to anyone else I know. Evangelism is another one of those words with a negative connotation in our society, and we wonder why?

In summary, let's put our childish ways behind us and mature. Let us love each other under grace, not under the law. Let us be free to be as we are, not slaves to our fears.